I believe in rewriting ANY story we want. I believe that we each have the authority and even the responsibility to pay attention to our thoughts and to change our direction to the good.

Knowing your money story matters. You have to understand where you’re starting out, and then you need to understand that your brain wants to keep you there. Your body, too. As humans, we are fundamentally afraid of change, of the unknown. So even when you decide to change, it will absolutely feel like everything is working against that change. There will be chaos around you. It won’t feel like the right time. It manifests in so many different ways.

So start with where you are. What are my scripts around money today? Brad Klontz named the four main “money scripts” as: Money Avoidance, Money Worship, Money Status, and Money Vigilance. Which one feels like you? Make note of it, and then take some time to remember – how was money spoken about in your home growing up? Did your parents, or grandparents, talk about money? If so, what emotions are attached, in your memory of those conversations? You won’t necessarily remember the words, but somewhere, stored in your memories are the feelings you felt. If you can’t remember, it’s good to ask yourself ‘what do I think I would remember, if I could?’ This can be informed by how you are with money today, your spending or saving habits, and by other, more general memories of your family and childhood.

I think we all run each of these scripts in turn, though there might be one that is more dominant. It’s like Sex and the City characters… you’re mostly Miranda but everyone has a little Samantha, a little Charlotte, a little Carrie. They’re designed that way, to maximize our ability to connect with them.

For me, fear and bad behavior show up in sneaky ways. I feel that I should ‘reward’ myself with new clothes, since I’ve lost so much weight. Also, I ‘need’ new clothes, I have to feel good and look good for my job, right? But the clothes have their own impact as well… I spend money to buy new clothes, and there is something in my subconscious about now getting my money’s worth of this size of clothing. And it is a vicious cycle in which there is no happy ending. I end up doing one of two things – tanking my nutrition, or massive retail binging. The worst part? Neither one makes me happy!!!

It’s strange to think that our brains wouldn’t want us to be happy – but I just don’t think it works like that. Our minds crave homeostasis, sameness. Comfort is what we are used to, what is easiest, the path of least resistance. Change is perceived as so much harder – but I know better now. The energy gets spent either way. The time passes, either way. And during that time, you use the energy to stay stuck or to move forward and begin again every single day. Yeah it’s hard, it definitely is. But so is struggling to keep your bank account above water. So is paying a credit card bill that’s too high and you don’t even remember what you bought.

How do you rewrite your story? You start with imagining, envisioning. I love doing this exercise with people! If you’re game, reader, I’m right here.